I Am
by blurred fragments
Summary: Seeing Killian back off from Emma after Neal's return, David questions him on whether he's truly fighting for what he wants, and his answer surprises him.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon A Time.**

A quiet rustle of the leaves signalled the pirate's return as he trudged through the dense jungle into camp, firewood tucked under his arm as he sipped at his rum. His Carribean blue eyes flicked a glance towards Ba – Neal, who joined Emma Swan on a log. He said something that Killian couldn't quite make out, but it earned a smile from Emma. She slowly placed her hand on top of his, and in a flash, Killian diverted his eyes.

_She is happy._ The mantra had been repeating in his mind over and over again ever since Neal and Emma's reunion, bothering him like an annoying child, constantly itching and nagging at his mind. His heart ached at the thought of her and Neal together – the one girl who had made him get over his broken heart of three hundered years, had yet to choose him, and probably never will. But the mantra would tug at his mind, and he'd sigh, knowing that _she was happy_, and his heart would ache a little less.

Quietly, he approached the couple and gently dropped the firewood in front of them, which snatched their attention for a while. He avoided Emma's gaze, the muddy ground and his old leather boots suddenly grabbing the pinnacle of his interest.

"Got the firewood," he muttered. "Anything else you need me to do?" He finally dared to look up, his soft gaze fixed solely on the blonde. He tried to hide how broken he felt, staring back at her conflicted expression.

"Um, I – I don't know, there's nothing else, really," Emma responded softly. His gaze flickered and he wondered if he should keep his eyes trained on her. He found it impossible, especially with Neal's eyes trained on him in a completely different fashion.

"Look, Hook, why don't you sit with us for a while? You've been walking around all day running errands and you need a break. Come on –" Emma patted the seat beside her.

Killian shook his head slowly, telling himself that he had to stay away. He had to stay detached from her; he cannot afford to let his feelings grow and evolve into something that his years had not taught him to handle. He could not fall any deeper in love. He had to do that for her.

He drew his breath, shooting her a strained look and turned around in refusal, heading the same way that he came, his good hand subconsciously gravitating towards his bottle of rum. He tried not to look back as he traipsed into the trees, but he did, and found David standing right behind him when he did.

"David," he muttered. "What are you doing here?" He refrained from taking a gulp of rum.

"I wanted to ask you something," Charming replied.

"Ask away – I'm an honest man. You saw what I did at the Echo Cave. You seemed ready to jab me with your sword – in the literal sense."

Charming rolled his eyes at Hook's quip. "About that, you're a determined man, Hook. You fight for what you want. You went out of your way to get revenge on Rumpelstiltskin, but stopped to save Henry. You _fell in love with my daughter_, but there you are, staying away and backing off and no longer giving her stupid remarks or trying to make inappropriate advances. Why the hell is that? Fight for what you want."

Killian stared at the prince for the longest time, his words striking him, wondering why David was so fixated on the idea of him and Emma – but more importantly, how nobody had figured out the pirate's intentions before. How nobody had figured out why he'd stopped revenge, why he'd come back to this cursed island, why he was backing off from Neal and Emma completely.

"But I am."

Charming looked bewildered. "What?"

"I am fighting for what I want. Quite honestly, David, I always fight for what I want, and you can bet on that. Ever since I came back to this blasted island, and uh, got closer to your Emma, I realized just how broken the she is. She's always wanted a family, David. A happy, reunited, proper family and honestly I can't give her that. After all, as Pan said, I'm nothing more than a one-handed pirate with a drinking problem. But you can. Henry can. Neal can. That's why I'm here, to save Henry. That's why I saved you. That's why I'm backing off from her and Neal bonding again. Because, David, I'm not fighting for Emma's affections. Sure, it'd be nice, but at the end of the day, I want her to be happy. That's what I'm fighting for."

Killian looked up at David, who looked taken aback at his honest profession.

"I'm fighting for Emma's happiness, which is something she's been deprived of for a bloody long time. And if I can help her get to it, then well, I'd say that I've spent my time well, whether I earn her affections or not."

David stared at the man of honor before him, wondering how he'd ever managed to hate the pirate before, when the leaves rustled and footsteps sounded.

The pair drew their swords, cautiously eyeing the trees and circling the small area. After a long moment, when nothing came, they warily kept their swords and turned back towards each other.

"Well, we should be getting back to camp," David awkwardly brought up after a pause. With a complying nod, Killian followed, but couldn't help but flashing back to that moment when they drew their swords, thinking about the ambush of potential threats, when really, all Killian had managed to spy was a glimmer of that familiar golden hair disappearing through the trees.

**Just an idea I had, I'm not sure if all of you agree with me. Read and review? It's my first fanfic so it'd be nice to get some feedback. **


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